Zack Sternwalker is unemployed, overweight, recently divorced, and lives with his mother. Whilst a lesser man would wither away in emo-laden angst, Zack has found inspiration during this difficult stretch of life. A renaissance man, Zack conjures up brilliant ideas (soap on a rope, a Sammie Davis Jr. biopic starring Tom Cruise, vases of flowers in Port-a-Potties nationwide), offers services (babysitter for Sophia Coppola, compiler and burner for a Beatles Best-of), and attempts to woo unsuspecting ladies with his lifelike sketches of firearms.

Please Let Me Help is a collection of letters Zack has written to companies, actors, directors, his local police department, Hulk Hogan, and scores of other easy targets. Some write back; most don't. Quite possibly the best, most hilarious zine ever, Please Let Me Help even includes pager after page of vampiric doodles. Can you resist it?